I have had a couple people tell me that it's been too long since my last post. But I have to say that I have been really uninspired to write (type) anything. Although I do agree that I should post more often, so here I am, posting.

Nia got really sick this weekend. Her fever spiked to almost 104. Scary. My brother happened to be here when this happened and he commented on how calm I was. I think there are two reasons for the calm despite my fear.
1. I find myself reacting to things in a different way since becoming a mom. I tend to be able to put aside an emotion to solve a problem. A trait I NEVER used to have.
2. Josh. Pure and simple, being to married to Josh has calmed me. The man hardly ever gets ruffled or angry or stressed. He responds to stressful situations with practicality not emotion.

Anyway, as the weekend went on Nia's fever was up and down and she felt awful. We spent 4 days straight not even leaving the house. She was extra cuddly and we just laid on the futon together and watched baby einstein dvds. She was also EXTRA clingy to me. As Josh put it when I was apologizing to him for her behavior, "she's sick and she just wants her mom". And it hit me, I am her mom. I know, really enlightening, but I realized that I am to her what my mom was to me. I was sick very often as a child. I had asthma and my parents frequently had to rush me to the emergency room in the middle of the night because I couldn't breathe. I even spent a week in the hospital because I had pneumonia and was a high risk patient. I remember being scared as a child when I would get that sick, but I can't imagine what my parent's had to go through, watching their child struggling to get her breath. And the thing is, I never knew my mom was scared. All I knew is that somehow she made me feel better. Just being with me. Still, to this day, when I get sick I want my mom. I want to hear her voice reassuring me and feel her touch calming me. And that is what I am to Nia now. It really blows me away. I have enjoyed being the one to make it all better. I just hope I can do it as well as my mom did with me.

So I guess I was inspired to write (type) after all.