a blog

so my brother tells me that I should blog more. It would be nice to blog more if #1 we had internet at our house, and #2 I hadn't dropped my laptop onto our hard wood flloors and smashed it to pieces. Well, maybe not to pieces, but it's definitely not the same. I suck. I have realized something about myself through this whole breaking my computer experience. I don't really think before I do anything. I already know that I don't think before I speak, but now I realize that I just never think. Josh,on the other hand, thinks before speaking or acting. Sometimes he thinks for so long that he falls asleep. He is deliberate, and I love it. If I had been deliberate before I grabbed my computer case, I might have seen that it was unzipped and avioded sending my computer crashing to the floor. But now I am in arkansas and I am using my mother-in-law's computer.
I am in Arkansas with my mother-in-law. She hates Arkansas. Arkansas=hell for her. She has been coming here to Arkansas for the past 8 months or so to have everything in her body killed. Chemotherapy is awful. Right now she is resting after getting poked and prodded yet again at the hospital. When I am sitting in the chemo room with her and looking at all of the other chemo patients I am faced with the frailty of life. A lot of these people are really sick, some of them might not make it much longer. My mother in law is almost in remission, but she still has to go through all of this for a long time. We sat up together last night with our bald heads. We share bandannas, and it takes us both about 2.3 minutes to get ready in the morning. I hope I can show her how much I love her. I hope she knows that, because I think she feels really alone a lot of times.
In 3 days I am going back to Bend Oregon! I cannot tell you how thrilled I will be to be there again. I feel like Bend belongs to Josh and me. I can't wait to see our old friends, eat at our old restaurants, see our little house, and ski! Maybe I will update my blog and tell you about the trip. Ok, this blog is random and long.